Why I Distanced Myself From Social Media and Never Looked Back

When my friends hear that I am taking a break from social media, they usually show a surprised face and ask, “Why?”

Like a lot of people, I used to check my social media feeds whenever I had a spare moment: when I woke up in the morning, when I had meals alone, when I was waiting for the bus… All my “boring” moments were filled with the “interesting” highlights of my friends’ lives. While that sometimes satisfied my curiosity and brought me inspiration, the feeling I most often had was discontentment — wishing I could do or have what I saw on my feed.

Meanwhile, I was also contributing to the unrealistic representation of life on social media. I picked the most beautiful moments of my life to “compete” with those of others. For perfectionists like me, creating a satisfying social media post was time-consuming. I selected the best photos, arranged them in the best order, and came up with the best caption I could think of. Slowly, I started to get tired of the iterative process. I started to question: what is the meaning of spending so much time crafting a perfect image of our lives? Does it make anyone happier? Doesn’t it create more anxiety and dissatisfaction for us? Why can’t we just enjoy the moment and stop thinking about what photos and stories to post?

But at that point I still did not think to quit social media, because I was afraid that I would miss out on opportunities to engage with friends. I was also afraid of cutting off the avenues for my friends to “see” me. Instead of leaving the platforms altogether, I even thought that maybe I could help change the culture of curating “perfection” by posting imperfect moments I had, like when I was stressed about my assignments. Nevertheless, that brought me more questions: what is the whole point of posting that online? If I want to get support, isn’t it better to directly contact my friends or family? When I want to know how my friends are doing, isn’t it better to message them or hang out in-person rather than doing the detective work of looking at their posts?

Then I came across this documentary called The Social Dilemma. It exposed another “dark side” of social media: these platforms keep feeding us the information we like to retain our attention—making our thinking more confined and rigid. The documentary made me realize that our obsession with social media is not only driven by our emotions, but also manipulated by the algorithms behind the platforms. When interviewed for the documentary, the experts who designed the algorithms admitted that even they cannot resist its temptations—so how can we?

In June, I officially quit social media. I have stopped posting and will only occasionally scroll through some feeds if I am really curious. I’m happy to report that my social world, contrary to all expectations, did not, in fact, collapse. My friends are still around. I no longer constantly compare my life with those of others. I now have more time to observe the things around me and to talk to the people beside me.

There are certainly some good sides of social media, but I prefer a life with some distance from it. It took me a while to find a good answer to my friends’ question at the beginning. Now I have found it: I want to live in the moment and to think independently and freely.