Quotes in the post are from Dylan Marron unless otherwise indicated.
Online Hate takes various forms. It ranges from the slightly uncomfortable to the threatening, but it is never any less difficult to deal with.
Digital Tattoo was at the 2020 UBC Student Leadership Conference held on January 11, 2020 and had a booth at the Student Involvement Fair where we talked digital identity and security issues of concern to students and gave away some cool swag.
One of the topics covered during the SLC was online discussed in the keynote delivered by Dylan Marron. He spoke about dealing with the overwhelming experience of being at the receiving end of online hate. Delegates were asked to refrain from taking videos and photos during the keynote which I believed contributed to an open and honest conversation.
About Dylan Marron
Image copyright to SLC 2020 Website used under fair dealing https://students.ubc.ca/slc/student-leadership-conference/conference/keynote
Dylan Marron, as his bio on the UBC SLC website notes, is a writer, correspondent and the most recognized face of Seriously.tv, where he has created viral smashes such as Sitting in Bathrooms with Trans People, Shutting Down Bullsh*t, and his signature Unboxing series.
In 2017 Dylan launched his Podcast “Conversations with People Who Hate Me” – in conjunction with Nightvale – where he engages his internet trolls in a lively and funny way. The podcast has been a hit and racked up 2,000,000 downloads and a New York Times magazine profile of Dylan to boot. In Spring of 2018, Dylan also gave a TED talk “Empathy is not Endorsement.” in Vancouver, BC.
He is an IFP Gotham Award and Drama Desk-nominated writer, performer and video maker. He is the voice of Carlos on the hit podcast Welcome to Nightvale, an alum of the New York Neo Futurists, and the creator of Every Single Word (Tumblr’s “Most Viral Blog” of 2016 and Short Award Nominee).
What Dylan Shared at SLC and Insights I Gained From It
Dylan Marron’s keynote shed light on experiences of online hate in multiple ways – in relation to who a person is as well as in relation to the work they do which can sometimes be very different but can also be linked.
#1 Distinguish haters from critics
He discussed how overwhelming it can be to be on the receiving end of such hate, how hard it is to deal with or sift through it and the tendency we have as humans to view all hate as the same because of how it makes us feel regardless of their varying intensities. It is important to be able to distinguish haters from critics.”
when dealing with online hate, we put a lot into the bucket of hate
#2 We are human. Revisit that humanity
He discussed how some of the hate he has received in the past led to his podcast “Conversations with People Who Hate Me” and one of the most striking moments for me was him saying “you can hear someone’s humanity over the phone”. I think this is a very important part when dealing with online hate. Both the receiving and dishing ends sometimes blend into a cycle as clapbacks and re:clapbacks occur, forgetting that on the other side is a human with feelings, thoughts and reflections.
Empathize without endorsing
Some of the experiences from his phone calls showed that once people realized this, they were more open, listened more, and even in some cases, changed their minds on issues.
#3 Don’t take it personally.
This is best explained by this quote from Entrepreneur.
“Don’t take it personally. When people communicate online, they are not interacting with you; they’re interacting with a computer screen. The computer is great at disseminating your message to millions, but it’s terrible at making the messenger human.”
#4 Be realistic about what you can achieve through conversation
No matter what we do, online hate might never go away just as it hasn’t gone away offline. Dylan’s keynote was open and truthful about situations in which nothing changed despite the phone calls. He however also showed that although things might not change immediately, there it always a potential for long term change. Conversations can turn around and listening to people is important. You just have to be realistic about the change you expect to see.
The Internet can distort reality yet have real life consequences
#5 Your digital safety is important
Another interesting thing for me was Dylan mentioning how much of the lives and profiles of his “haters” he could see or gain access to. While Dylan is a more public social media figure than most, I easily assume that most people have private social media profiles especially when engaging actively with tense topics. Hearing this reminded me of the importance of securing your digital identity, online presence and engagement. It is especially important when facing online hate to enforce your online privacy and security. Protect your personal details and information.
#6 Your mental health is important. Explore the safety of unplugging
Take care of yourself. Unplug and use the magic tools report, delete, block, mute, unfollow, log out, or deactivate as you please. This could be short term, long term, or forever. Sometimes, it is necessary to prioritise your safety and mental health over putting up a fight or continued engagement in a situation that is negatively affecting you. Admittedly, being able to do this can only be determined on a case-by-case basis.
It is always useful to take a mental break, take your mind off the negatives and refocus on the positives.
For serious issues, like trolling, the UK’s Centre for Countering Digital Hate (CCDH) recently released “Don’t Feed the Trolls: A Practical Guide to Dealing With Hate on Social Media”. Page 9 is particularly useful for things to do immediately.
References
- 5 Ways to Cope With Online Haters | Entrepreneur, 2016
- How to Deal With Online Hate | Lifehacker, 2019
- Don’t Feed the Trolls: A Practical Guide to Dealing With Hate on Social Media | Centre for Countering Digital Hate (CCDH), 2019
Related DT Resources
- Blog Post: Online Safety in the LGBTQ+ Community
- Tutorial: Online Harrassment
- Tutorial: Staying Tranquil in Your Digital Life
- Tutorial: Removing Myself From The Internet
Additional Resources
Project Someone https://projectsomeone.ca/
Written By: Eseohe Ojo
Edited By: Samantha Summers
Featured Image: Social Networks from ijmaki Used Under Pixabay License
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